I hate having to share stories like these, but I feel it is important to make people aware that as much as Family Court can be very helpful, it can also be a very effective tool for an abuser. I read these stories today and while they aren’t new for me, they do make me feel sick inside. I HATE that this happens to any family!
These stories are from Missouri, but you could just as easily hear them in Minnesota or any other state in the country. The first story is about “Jack and Jill”. After reading that, if you can stand to, read about Jane and John.
These cases are not the types of cases that usually come to mediation, although it would not be unheard of. An abusive person might enjoy forcing their ex to come to mediation, especially if they don’t want to. They would be able to tell the judge that they wanted to go to mediation, but the other parent was not cooperative. Abusive, masochistic types love nothing more than to inflict pain on their victims and turning the court against their victim is a main game they like to play. I will write about this in a much longer post I have been planning to write. I just haven’t had the time to get all the information together yet so stay tuned and check back. I will do it very soon.
What I want to say now about the stories above is that hopefully, if your story is similar to these, first off, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN!!! IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER!!! I know it is hard to believe, but it will not last forever. Trust in that. Second, what I want to say is that this is why I am a life strategist and meet individually with people who will not be able to mediate. I am working on becoming a licensed psychologist. I am not there yet, but I wanted to try to help if I could now. I am one of the few who truly understands this system and I was able to free myself and my children of it. I want that for ALL of you who are in a long. embattled court case. The Family Court is no place to be long term and shame on the courts for allowing it to go long term in the first place! High conflict divorce cases should be a clue that something is not right with one or both of these people and court orders will not help, nor will they be effective for long. That is why I will read people’s court orders and try to help them find a new approach to the court system and to their life. Much of it has to come from you, even if you are the target of someone’s ugly, hateful attacks!
For anyone who wants an individual session, I will read through your court orders. It will give me a sense of what has occurred and how you got to be the bad guy, if indeed that is the side you are on. Usually it is the court labeled “bad guy” who needs help because the other guy, the Court labeled “model parent” isn’t having any problem. They are having fun making the “bad guy’s” life miserable! So back to life strategy for a moment. Will I be able to help? There is no guarantee, although I’ll try with everything I have. Will I be able to end the court battle for you? Probably not. What I will try to do is help you gain some perspective and learn ways to cope for you and your kids. My main goal as a Life Strategist has been to get people unstuck and free from the court system. I am here for you. One of the most important things that will happen to you when you meet with me is that I will listen to your story. The entire ugly thing. I know that when you tell your story, many people think that you are crazy. The outside world, the people who have never set foot before a Family Court Judge, have no idea what happens there. They don’t believe you. They think that it must be YOUR fault if the court is treating you badly. They just do not think that the court would keep punishing you if you weren’t the “bad guy”. What is different with me is that I have been there. I know how it works. I BELIEVE YOU! I cannot guarantee that I can do anything other than that or just listen, but I know that people run out of places to turn and I want you to know that I am here for you. Just give me a call or shoot me an email (it’s a free consult)and let’s see if we can come up with any solutions because I BELIEVE YOU!!!!
*photo: Lazy Man by graur codin