- by lifesdoorsmediation
- in Abuse, accusations, anger, Attitude, Child Custody, Communication, Conflict, Coping, Court Authorities, divorce, Divorce Nastiness, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Family Court, Family Court System, judges, lies, Music, Music videos, optimism, personal growth, positive thinking, self care, Songs
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I have mentioned several times before that I enjoy listening to songs from when I was younger. Today I was listening to a song that I loved to sing to, and I also loved it because it was not played on the radio. In case you don’t know, B-sides were the back side of a 45 rpm single. I often couldn’t wait to get home with my (vinyl) record and listen to the B-side because it was going to be a surprise. They didn’t play it on the radio so you rarely knew what that song was. It was kind of a bonus, really. You would rush out and buy a new single that you loved, and sometimes hit gold with the lesser known song on the back side. Those were the days, I tell ya!
Anyway, as I was thinking about writing something about B-sides, I thought, well, B-sides are the other side of the story. For those in an on-going court battle, there is often a B-side who feels that they are being ignored and their story goes unheard. It’s a matter of the squeaky wheel getting the grease, if you will. The A-side repeatedly tells their story and tries to “win” the contest. They usually are believed, no matter how absurd their story because their story came out first and because there are people in the legal system who mistakenly believe that no one comes to court to make claims that are not true, well, except domestic abuse claims. Those claims are also typically ignored because those in power think most abuse claims are false and only a custody winning strategy. Those same, highly intelligent, highly educated people in power can imagine the false story narrative about domestic abuse, but cannot see the flip side, where absurd claims of bizarre behavior or “parental alienation syndrome” just might be a custody winning strategy as well.
I am just pointing out that there are “A” and “B” sides to everything. Determining which side is the “hit record” depends on who is spinning it and giving it the most play. Just like the song that got the radio play might not have been the better song, courts may be playing one side of the record and not the other. There were some people who never listened to the B-side when they bought a record. Isn’t that sad? Half the music was lost! Sometimes half the story is lost in court, too. That doesn’t make it a non story. It is simply a story that hasn’t been listened to. Your story is important and you should continue to look for an audience. If the court isn’t listening, tell a friend, write a book, start blogging, somewhere, somehow, tell your story. Keep in mind that sometimes a B-side got discovered and got more airplay than the A-side. Whenever you are in doubt of what is true, when it seems that no one believes you, tell your story anyway. It may change your life or someone else’s life, and there is healing and learning in telling your story.
My thoughts about B-sides were not just related to the court battle though. I had another thought. A more positive thought. B-sides were special. Not everyone ever heard them or knew about them, but they had their silent supporters out there and those who would learn the words and sing along. Life is kind of like a single 45. Sometimes you are going to be the A side and sometimes you are going to be the B-side, but it is important to put yourself out there in the world and see what might happen. Sometimes a B-side ended up as the hit single and in later years, because of albums, both the A-sides and B-sides got equal play. Always be prepared to be your best, no matter what because you never know who is going to take notice.
By the way, the B-side song I was inspired by today was, “This Masquerade” by the Carpenters, it was the flip side of “Please, Mr. Postman.” Even though I bought the single for the A-side, the B-side I found to be more deep and meaningful and musically abundant. See for yourself:
And here is a little bit about A and B sides:
Image courtesy of Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
About lifesdoorsmediationI am a mediator, Life and Divorce Coach and an Instructor of a High Conflict Divorce Program.
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