Here is another guest post, this time from Jennifer Damien:
Falling in love is exhilarating. It makes you feel more; it makes you happier and more contended; and it makes you feel like a better person. However, there is a kind of love though that actually does the opposite. Instead of feeling happy and secure, you feel trapped and scared. You cannot get away from your partner because you fear the repercussions of leaving the relationship. You cannot let go of the relationship because, in a way, you are too emotionally and even financially dependent on your partner. If you feel you belong more to the latter, then maybe it is time to review your relationship and see if you are in an abusive kind of love. Below are the common signs of an abusive relationship.
Are you being pressured into the relationship?
Being in a relationship with someone – be it a common-law relationship or a marriage – is a mutual thing. No one should be forced into any kind of relationship with someone. However, if your partner is putting extreme pressure on you to stay in the relationship and you do not feel comfortable about it, then your partner is being emotionally abusive. He is using his feelings to guilt you into staying with him.
A relationship is a commitment, but if he is forcing you to commit yourself to him even if you are not ready yet, then there is something wrong.
Does he control you?
People who are in an abusive relationship have partners that are too controlling, too jealous, and too possessive. They want to know where their partners are at all times, and they even tend to “interrogate” their partners who they were with and who they talked to. They even go as far as checking emails, phones, and car mileage just to see if their partner is telling the truth. Some even ask for receipts to check their partner’s activities and forbids them from going anywhere, seeing anyone, doing anything without their permission.
In addition to this, abusive partners are also very jealous and very possessive. They easily get jealous when they see their partner talking to someone else, especially if it is of the opposite sex. They are so possessive that they even call incessantly or do surprise visits just so they could check up on what their partner is doing.
Does he hurt you physically?
Love may bring you so much happiness, but unfortunately, it can also give you a lot of pain. Getting into a fight with your partner, although very normal, can be emotionally draining and painful, especially if you have exchanged painful words. However, what is not normal is when physical pain, emotional abuse, and psychological trauma are involved.
If you are involved with someone who is hurting you physically, saying hurtful and demeaning words intentionally just so he could humiliate and degrade you, or playing cruel mind games with you, then it is time to reevaluate your relationship. Tell people about your situation, seek help, ask for advice, and know that you have the right to walk out of the relationship any time you want to and he does not have any right to trap you into it. If you are worried for your safety and your children’s, then call a lawyer who is well-versed with the family law.
- License: Creative Commons image source
Jennifer Damien is a content provider for a number of relationship and dating sites. She specializes in tips for keeping love alive and how to keep relationships happy. Abusive relationships are not normal, if you think you are in one, she recommends visiting your lawyer such as Zavodnick, Zavodnick & Lasky, LLC.