When I decided to go for sole custody it was to free all of us from the Family Court System. I knew it would be better not only for me and the children, but also for their dad.
Our Parenting Consultant was a meddler. If things were going OK, she couldn’t
leave well enough alone. I started searching for a lawyer and asked how best to
get rid of the Parenting Consultant who made us all nuts.
Every lawyer I spoke to
told me that if I had sole custody, the parenting consultant goes away. They also
said that the Parenting Consultant had laid out a great case for sole custody in her
summaries and memorandums. All the lawyers told me that she’d go away because
she’d have nothing left to decide if one of us had sole custody. Unfortunately what happened
when I was given sole custody, the court left the parenting consultant on my case
AND assigned a Guardian ad Litem. I could not believe that! Be aware that you
may have a Parenting Consultant, Parenting Time Expediter and/or Guardian ad Litem assigned to your case,
even if you have sole custody.
If you have sole custody, you should not worry about any of these people meddling. In my case this was not an issue once one parent had sole
custody because there were no decisions for the parenting consultant to make. She was
on the case, but never again utilized and after four years I received a letter from
her stating she was withdrawing from our case (finally). We also had the Guardian
ad Litem assigned for six months after the custody trial ended, and she was fantastic.
She had the attitude, like I do, that no family needs to be in Family Court or under
a microscope for years like my family was (eight years to be exact). She told me that
she was available if needed, but her plan was to be on our case for the six months she had been appointed and if she saw no issues, she would withdraw and inform the
judge that there were no issues. She then did exactly what she said she would do. I
want you to know that there are some good court authorities so you do not have to
fear them all.
A meddler will make your life hell and if you both cannot stand
him/her, it is within your right to ask for another one. You both have to agree
to the change in order to do so. You could try going to mediation and see if you can get that agreement
for a change. It will be worth the money if you get rid of a meddler. They will
cost you a fortune in on-going court motions and lawyer bills. If you can replace that one with a common
sense court authority, hopefully you can work your way to the relationship that works
for both of you and not need as much help, or any court orders to control your family.
A visit to a Mediator in that case, should be a quick issue to settle so hopefully it
won’t cost you much. I can give you names of some Parenting Consultants or
Expediters (I provide PTE and PC services myself).
Notice that I do not name names very often on this blog. I do not name my own Parenting Consultant or the custody evaluator. I just don’t feel the
need to trash people like that. I’m even respectful of my ex because I already told
that story to the court and it’s all in the past. What I will do is tell you privately
who I would recommend or avoid. If you are looking for a court authority and contact me, I’ll give my opinion of someone you are considering
or give some names for your list if you get to choose one. I also have some attorneys that I know
are awesome and some that aren’t. I will give referrals and opinions by phone or
email with this information free of charge anytime.
As I mentioned above,
if you need a Parenting Time expediter or Parenting Consultant, I can fill that role and am listed on the Court
Rosters for Anoka, Carver, Dakota, Hennepin, Ramsey, Scott and Washington
counties and you can request me if you’d like.
I’d also like to hear from you with your opinion of any court authorities assigned
to your case. For any court authorities that I am not familiar with, I can get a feel
for how good or bad they are based on the info I receive from the people they serve.
sure that the best professionals get assigned to Family Court cases and the bad guys
end up with no work. Let’s starve the beast as much as possible.
*Here is an update to my story. I was brought back to the nightmare when my ex got sole physical of my 17 year old son back in June. Thankfully, there is no parenting consultant this time and I feel angry that after my respectful treatment of my children’s father, he still has deep resentment toward me and is doing his level best to hurt me. He will not succeed.