Chaos and Disorder




It isn’t easy to learn to be a single parent.  Whether you have been married and now have to face raising children alone (no, co-parenting is not the same) or if never married, it is not easy to raise children and try to do everything else you need to do.

If you are experiencing a particularly hostile exchange with your ex, in court or out, it weighs on your mind.  It may be hard to keep your mind on the things you have to do.  Any single parent knows that if you are not on top of your game, everything suddenly becomes chaotic.  You cannot remember things you have to do.  You might be really fatigued due to lack of sleep and thoughts of family court dancing through your nightmares.  You aren’t doing the best at work and the house is a disaster.

You are not alone.  This happens to many single parents.  Don’t have time to clean because you are busy writing up documents for your attorney?  Any of the scenarios can and do happen.

Is there anything you can do?  Well, if possible, take a day off from work to relax so that you can have the strength to organize later, or organize now.  If you can do it, life will be much easier.  Ask a friend to watch the kids so that you can clean without the every 5 minute interruptions from the kids.

If you cannot take the time to clean and organize, take it easy on yourself.  This, too, shall pass.  You are not a super hero.  There is only one you and you cannot be everywhere at the same time.  I know many people are extra critical of themselves because they are feeling insecure about life.  The messy house makes a person feel worse.  This is not helpful for you.  sometimes, just getting out of the house for a while is enough to motivate you.  Try to find balance if you can.  Don’t obsess on court, your ex, the house, the kids.  If you can balance everything, as best you can during this difficult time, that will help you make time to organize.  If you need a break, take it.  Get away, even if it is only for a couple of hours.




Image: Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net



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About lifesdoorsmediation

I am a mediator, Life and Divorce Coach and an Instructor of a High Conflict Divorce Program.

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