Focus


What happens when you lose your focus?  If you focus too much on the wrong things or if unexpected life events rob you of your energy and time, you will find that your other responsibilities get neglected.  When that happens, everything can become chaos.

Sometimes it cannot be helped.  For example, my aunt became sick and has since died, but she is my mom’s only immediate family member so I thought it was important to take my mom to visit as much as possible.  My aunt lives out of town, so we took time every weekend to visit her, including one weekend that we stayed for four days because my aunt was not expected to live through the weekend.  She did make it through and actually lived another couple of months.  What a fighter she was! 

While being busy with that, other things had to be ignored.  Laundry piled up, the dust gathered, and the yard work did not get done.  It was important to spend the time with my aunt and the chores can get done later.  No big deal there.

What about when you lose focus on what is important and then the important things get ignored?  For example, I have a friend who obsesses over what her ex is or is not doing.  She needs to clean up certain aspects of her life that are causing her grief, but she never gets around to cleaning those things up.  She has a boyfriend, who thinks she is fabulous, but instead she alienates him by talking about how much she hates her ex husband.  Wouldn’t it be better to focus on building this new relationship rather than lamenting the past?

I know a man who has a wonderful family, but he is a workaholic.  His employer could live without him there 60-80 hours per week, but he thinks he must work that hard to get rewarded.  Truthfully, companies rarely reward you with more than your salary.  Ask anyone who has been laid off.  Companies will always act in their own best interest when push comes to shove, and to hell with the employees.  Especially in this economy!  The workaholic is missing out on his children growing up and being the kind of man that his children can count on when they need him.  As it is now, when his wife needs him or his children need him, he is never available.  He is always at work.  I don’t know what his future holds, but what I do know is that if his life were to end, his wife and children would most likely wish that he had given more to himself than to the company.

When not focused on the right things, your life can spin out of control.  You can also miss opportunities.  There are some people I know



Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom / FreeDigitalPhotos.net





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About lifesdoorsmediation

I am a mediator, Life and Divorce Coach and an Instructor of a High Conflict Divorce Program.

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