No Tricks or Treats For Me




I have been crazy busy lately and neglecting the blog.  I am hoping that certain things have settled down for me enough so that I can get back to some daily posts soon.  In the meantime, here is a Halloween story that I am re-posting from 10/11/11.  Since Halloween is quickly approaching, I wanted to make sure you had some options with the holiday co-parenting situations that cause anxiety, sadness, anger and stress.  Enjoy!

*repost from 10/11/11




I remembered a story that I wanted to share with you to see if it is something you might like to try.  After dealing with my own sad holidays, when the kids were not going to be with me, I started to get a little creative with things.

One of my friends lost custody of her children and was devastated that the children’s father wouldn’t allow her to have the children for part of the evening so they could have a little trick or treating with both Mom and Dad.  I suggested that maybe she celebrate with the children the day before.  At first my friend was reluctant.  How would that work, Halloween is one day?  I reminded her that many people would already have prepared and bought candy.  I also told her that the kids could come to my house and I’d hand out candy a day early.  I also asked my neighbors if they’d help out.  They were willing.  My friend called some of her other friends and made the request of them.  They, too, were willing to oblige.

The day before Halloween came and the Mom had parenting time with her children.  She helped them put on their Halloween costumes and told them that they were going to have a special Halloween.  At first the kids felt embarrassed.  They thought that they would look dumb, out on a day that was not for trick or treating, but after they had made the special neighborhood rounds, they felt really special.  They got more than just the typical candy.  Some of the friends and neighbors had put together a package with books or crayons and stickers, along with the candy.  It was a success. 

The kids felt good and Mom felt good and they got to celebrate the day together.  Those kids will remember how their mom still made Halloween special and they got to trick or treat before any of their friends did.  Not to mention, they went trick or treating the next day with their dad, so it was double the fun.This is a good lesson of how we can get caught up with a date, but it doesn’t have to be on the exact date.  You can make holidays nice and sometimes even extra special even when you have to be without your kids on the actual Holiday date.

Where there is a will, there is a way!  When you are missing your kids and devastated at the holidays, go ahead and get creative.  Enlist the help of others because you will find that they are very much willing to help out when they can.


Image courtesy of Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net





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About lifesdoorsmediation

I am a mediator, Life and Divorce Coach and an Instructor of a High Conflict Divorce Program.

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