Oh, Those Darn Holiday Disputes!



The holidays can be such a hard time.  Co-parenting is often wrought with disputes.  The tough part is that this is also the time when there is not much help out there.  Either the issue is so time sensitive there is no way to get it resolved in time or if you need an attorney, parenting time expediter or parenting consultant, they are swamped.  I know a parenting consultant who has 60 active cases.  Now that seems like a lot, and it is, but they are usually manageable throughout the year.  She may not hear from either party in a year or two, sometimes never again, but even if half of those cases are having holiday disputes, it becomes unmanageable.  Imagine the emails!

It is normal for those who are in the throws of hostile co-parenting situations to want to avoid the other parent, but if possible you should plan the holidays in advance.  If you live in fear from early November to the beginning of January, you are probably causing yourself a great deal more stress than you need.  Rather than hiding from your ex and avoiding your ex, hit the issue head on.  Call your ex well in advance of the holidays that usually create a dispute and ask your ex if they were considering making any changes to the parenting time schedule for the holidays.  You may just end up with a workable plan and not have to spend the holidays angry, stressed out or living with uncertainty.

As a coach, I can help you figure out the best approach.  I can also help you consider what you might be willing to change and how to not to show your hand before you find out what your ex wants.

Facing your fears head on is always better than avoiding them.






Image courtesy of Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net





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About lifesdoorsmediation

I am a mediator, Life and Divorce Coach and an Instructor of a High Conflict Divorce Program.

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