People are Basically Good




*cross posted at the Door to Happiness Blog


I
was very quiet as a child.  I had siblings who were much older than me
and I was exposed to adult problems very early in life.  Professionals
would say that it is bad for children to be exposed to adult problems
and many a parent has been chastised by the family courts for telling
their children what they consider to be inappropriate information about
the parent’s divorce or the parent’s relationship with the other
parent.  Who gets to be the rule maker on what is appropriate? 
Sometimes it seems very clear when a person shares something way too
intimate, but again, this is all subjective and a matter of opinion. 
Certainly for me, my being wiser than my years, by witnessing other
people’s mistakes, helped me learn what not to do and I really consider
it a blessing to have some of this wisdom that others may not have.


I
was a quiet child and I didn’t like to make waves.  I have spent a lot
of time figuring myself out to know why that is and that it isn’t a bad
thing, it is just the core of who I am.  I could probably write a book
explaining me, and who knows?  Maybe I will, but this post is about my
observations about people.


There is that old theory that people
are basically good.  I believe this.  If you Google it, you will find
that there is much thought to the contrary.  Because of my shy, quiet
nature as a child, I have spent many years observing others.  I see
patterns in how they get into trouble, how they get themselves into and
out of situations by repeating their behavior, good or bad, over and
over again.  I have been able to predict with great accuracy when
someone is going to take a step to truly mess up their life.  I can see
when they reach a level of desperation in which they are going to put
all of their stock outside of their own power and bank on someone else
fixing their problems for them.  I also know that this never works.  If
you want to elicit positive change in your life, you have to take your
own power and make things happen for you.  You know that other saying,
“If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself?”  That is
absolutely the truth.  You may think that someone can fix your life for
you, but it is your life.  How can they know better than you what is
best for you?


I do believe that people are basically good.  I meet
with people all the time who have made some terrible mistakes in their
life and think they cannot over come it.  When they have hurt people,
they feel terrible.  They do not want it to be this way.  Deep down,
they just want to make things better and they want to be happy and they
want to see everyone else happy, too.  Those that they are deeply
entrenched in some kind of dispute or all out war, they try so hard and
keep going at it so hard because many times, they know that there is
goodness inside of that person and they hope that their “enemy” will
just be the person they know they can be or once knew them to be.


I
have studied relationships for most of my life.  My goal for all of the
things is I do when I work with people is to bring peace.  Sometimes
peace doesn’t come by way of kissing and making up.  Sometimes one just
has to apologize, forgive and go on to find more fulfilling people to
have in their lives.


If you feel that you have said and done
things that you cannot recover from, remember this.  You can change a
relationship or you life in an instant for good or for bad.  You must
have a plan to get from bad to good.  It is never too late to apologize
to someone.  It is never too late to do the right thing.  Even if you
are entrenched in a nasty court battle, you can put a stop to it.  You
may have to sacrifice something to do so, but it can be done.  You might
also need to find someone who can help you.  I am a mediator, but also a
life coach.  I am always willing to help people in person or by phone, no matter where you live.  Please contact me for life coaching if you need a little help turning things around.


Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net









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About lifesdoorsmediation

I am a mediator, Life and Divorce Coach and an Instructor of a High Conflict Divorce Program.

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