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If you want to schedule mediation, get support with divorce or are trying to work through a difficult co-parenting, high conflict custody situation, please contact Susan Carpenter at Life’s Doors Mediation, email@example.com, 763-566-2282.
When I started my journey to help parents, the goal was to save them from the confusion I knew they felt and to make their journey shorter and less painful than the one I had walked. I felt called to be a guide, a teacher and provide comfort when I could. I never promised to have all the answers. We are all human, after all. We need that higher power. We need to believe in something greater than ourselves. We need hope that there is much more to the journey than our current situation. We need hope.
I spent the time of my story all alone. I was alone because I could not find anyone else who really understood. I started out scared and alone, just me and my two boys, but I did ask God for help. I did not think he was helping so I quickly dismissed God and searched for someone or something else. When I did that, there was nothing but me and the prison I was building for myself.
When I was finally tired of my lonely misery and found no one else who understood or had real knowledge I turned back to God and found he was always there. He had never left me. I was simply refusing to see him, to hear him and to trust him. When I gave in to what he was doing, my life changed. I was freed from a prison that really only existed in my own mind. The door had always been open for me to walk through.
I was blessed and I wanted to share that blessing, that peace, that freedom with others who were held captive in their imaginary prisons. I wanted them to see what I finally saw. The door to your prison is already open. You simply have to walk through it!
I went on to walk a new journey of helping parents escape the pain of divorce and high conflict custody battles. Those who are open to change receive great rewards. I share with them the secret to conquering Family Court and painful relationships.
While I am a mediator, parenting consultant, and parenting time expeditor in Minnesota, and I enjoy that work to a degree, those roles offer limited success. Results depend on the good faith of the individuals involved. The success or failure comes from the skills and abilities of the parents themselves and their desire to escape their own prison.
What I really enjoy is teaching. It is in the one on one work that I do where I see dramatic results for parents. It even works for high conflict families. How wonderful it is to see fear and anxiety replaced with peace and confidence and to see that spill over for children. Parents living peace and confidence are able to offer so much more to their children than are parents who struggle with pain and trauma. Pain and trauma will not help you find your way out of a paper bag! Pain, trauma and the stress of a journey through the darkness of family court, leaves you stuck. Fumbling and stumbling because you aren’t aware of your true power makes you rely on professionals to light the way. What you do not realize is most of the professionals don’t know the way either. Even if they do, the professionals will not light your path for you. They are trying to show you where the light is. You have to take it. It is not the lawyer’s job to teach you. It is not the mediator’s job to teach you. It isn’t the parenting coordinator’s job to teach you. In some cases, I have made it my job to teach, but I can only do that in the one-on-one services I provide. I’ve decided that will be my main focus in this coming year and beyond.
I will show you the way and offer guidance, but the work is up to you and you alone. It is not easy, but you can free yourself and your children from the pain and trauma of Family Court and High Conflict divorce. Even when your co-parent keeps inflicting more and more control, financial hardship and fear on you, there are ways to expose their attacks for what they are and find peace for your own house.
The goal of our the programs offered at Life’s Doors Mediation is to clue you in to what you do not understand so that you can free yourself from a narcissistic ex, a bipolar co-parent, toxic co-parenting and really understand why it is you feel so trapped. We also share with you the truth about Family Court professionals. Why don’t they seem to know what they are doing? Why don’t lawyers help you? Why don’t parenting consultants seem to care about domestic abuse? We have programs that are specifically created to help victims of domestic violence. Check out our program, Victim in the System.
You have nothing to lose! If you have tried everything else and found no help, why not try something new in this New Year? Pick our brains as to why your situation seems so backwards and upside down.
While Life’s Doors Mediation can only provide mediation, parenting consulting and parenting time expeditor services to parents in Minnesota, our coaching and educational programs are without limits. We can assist anyone in the United States, or even the world, to move beyond the prison of Family Court. You owe it to yourself and your children to try something new! It is always a free consult. What have you got to lose?
As someone who has been working for almost 20 years to help parents navigate the very choppy waters of family court, I get a fair amount of calls and emails from parents who feel overwhelmed with how off track their case has become. High conflict cases snowball into unimagineable craziness and parents desperately want […]
Life’s Doors Mediation has developed an online training center called High Conflict U. I am dedicated to making things better for divorced parents everywhere. For 2018 I plan to go full force forward with a focus on education. Knowledge is power! Nowhere does this ring more true than it does for divorced parents caught up in Family Court.
High Conflict U offers a free e-course to learn everything you wanted to know about parenting time expeditors ( a role exclusive to the state of Minnesota ) and Parenting Consultant/Coordinators. Enroll now to learn about these important roles for your family.
The following is a repost from 1/14/13. It is important to post now because the video appears to have been scrubbed from the internet. Does that surprise anyone?
As you know, I am determined to raise awareness about Parenting Consultants, known in other states as Parenting Coordinators. I am also trying to help people avoid this process all together. See the video below, and I have added some links to Liz Library articles about PCs, too.
Well, praise be to God. After many years, and many parents trying and failing to get the news media to do a story on parenting consultants, a couple of brave Moms were able to finally shine a spotlight on the process. Information is power and so I do call this a success story. The journalist also interviewed Karen Irvin, a long time PC, and I suppose they had to do so in order to be fair, but that seemed to put the criticism back on the parents more than the process itself.
Personally, having experience on both sides of the process, I know that there is enough blame to go around. Parents can become quite hostile with one another. That is a problem. However, there is the problem of having a process that takes money away from the families who need it and having no way to get out of that process if you find it does not help your situation or it turns out to be much more expensive than you had anticipated.
The news story says that parenting consultant contracts are for two years. I still hear from a multitude of people that have no end date in the contract or court order. Much of what is wrong in the system is that the system does not educate itself on the latest recommendations, nor do they require any special education for parenting consultants. It is available, but it is not required. As Karen Irvin said, “We’ve developed a two-day training that we think should be four days, but I don’t know that we could get people to a four day training.” I’d like to challenge that thinking because many of these same people are willing to attend a three-day divorce camp!
Parents do share some of the responsibility for how bad the relationships are because there are times the PC is used as a weapon and just the presence of the court authority overseeing your life can invite nit-picky battles that probably would not happen without the presence of a court authority and the false sense of power that provides. But the court would be wise to put in place some on-going training requirements and also to adopt standard language for a pc order that includes a time limit either across the board or an agreed upon term determined by the parties at the time of the court order. Plus, I want to see attorneys required to inform clients that the court cannot order a parenting consultant if a party does not agree to have one. That does not happen very often.
I do have some things coming that I think will help the situation. I am just not at the point where I can make my announcements yet. Just know that some things are coming…soon.
Watch the news video and let me know what you think. Did this new story help to raise awareness?
I like to think that people should be informed about matters that involve them entering into a contract, especially where they are going to be paying thousands of dollars. One of my biggest pet peeves is when parents get stuck in a contract they cannot get out of, and they never really agreed to in the first place.
The legal community does a very poor job of informing parents about what it means to work with a Parenting Consultant. Usually, parents are strong armed into agreeing to have a PC appointed, and out comes the court order. It happens quickly, and you really don’t know what a PC does, or how much they cost, until after a court order is issued that appoints one. By the time you realize how the process works, you are stuck.
The following is a list of issues that a Parenting Consultant can decide about your children. It is a list that I received when I went through training to be a Parenting Consultant. If you were given this list at the time you were contemplating whether or not to appoint a PC, I truly believe that no sane person would ever agree to have a Parenting Consultant appointed. Even when you are told that a PC will settle disputes about legal custody issues, you never imagine all the things they delve into about your family life.
I have used both Parenting Coordinator and Parenting Consultant to describe the role of these court authorities, but they mean the same thing. Most places call them Parent Coordinators, but my home state of Minnesota calls them Parenting Consultants.
The following is the list of issues that a Parenting Consultant can decide, however, this is not all inclusive. They can decide anything other than Custody, or Child Support. Would you be willing to turn over decisions like this to Family Court?