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Life’s Doors Mediation is partnered with Discover Your Piece. We are working together to make things better for divorced parents everywhere. I am sharing something new and exciting with you and I hope you will give it a try. Check out Discover Your Piece and their education site for High Conflict parents, High Conflict U!
High Conflict U offers a free e-course to learn everything you wanted to know about parenting time expeditors ( a role exclusive to the state of Minnesota ) and Parenting Consultant/Coordinators. Enroll now to learn about these important roles for your family.
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Its here. It’s here!!! Much later than I had hoped, but it is here! Editing is a tedious process and I have learned that for future books, but hopefully that makes this title user friendly.
I am not a lawyer and I am not a psychologist, but this book has tips you need to avoid a Parenting Consultant Nightmare for your family. If you read it and think that your parenting consultant should read it, do not give it to them personally. Email me with their info and I will make them aware of the book and encourage them to read it. You might get in trouble with your pc for implying they do not know what they are doing. Allow me to take the risk for you!
Also, tell anyone you know who is living in Family Court hell that there is a guide to parenting consultants now available.
Buy it today on Amazon or Create space
I know that school just got out or is almost done, depending on your school district, but one of the most common post decree disputes is where your children will attend school. This is something you need to deal with sooner, rather than later, because if you wait, you may run out of summer.
Even if you have a parent coordinator or parenting consultant, they may have several families who come to them this time of year for a decision about school. Do not assume that you are the only family they work with. Get the issue out on the table. Maybe there won’t be any issue. Great. You can breathe a sigh of relief.
Maybe this will be an issue for mediation. Again, you want to make sure there is time for resolution before the next school year. I have known cases where parents have fought about school placement up until the weekend before school and then they decide to ask a judge to make an emergency decision. That kind of behavior will not work out very well for your child or you.
I know that there are some of you who avoid any interaction with your ex like the plague and with good reason, but if you leave an opening, your ex may just leap in and take charge. That will not work out well either.
I hope that you and your children get to enjoy summer and not think about any court proceedings. Summer can be a time when things settle down a little bit. But you know that if you and your ex cannot agree on anything, you may want to get the ball rolling. It will be less stressful to resolve these important matters without having to panic under a fast approaching deadline in August.
And don’t forget about those extracurricular activities!
- in accusations, anger, Attitude, balance, Child Custody, Children, Communication, confidence, Conflict, Coparenting, Coping, Court Authorities, Distrust, divorce, Divorce Nastiness, Family Court, judges, Parent Coordinator, Parenting Consultants, Parenting Time, Relationships, School, School Staff, self care, significant others, Single parenting, support
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In the past couple of weeks, I have been made aware of a new trend. Divorced couples engaging in battle over which school district their child attends are now having their children go to school in two separate districts, AT THE SAME TIME!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How can this be practical? Since school started, I have been made aware of three children who are doing 2 days per week in one school district and three days per week in the school district where the other parent lives. One poor twelve year old is doing one week in Mom’s district and the next in his Dad’s school district. That is nuts and it has nothing whatsoever with the children’s needs.
Children have basic needs and those must be met before anyone should worry about the parents’ wishes. To me, this is a form of child abuse and if one parent will not take action to correct the situation, the child should be removed from BOTH parties care. I generally support parents because I know they do not have it easy. Single parents, in particular, really do have their struggles and when they have a hostile ex who runs interference ALL THE TIME, their job is a thousand times harder. Still, to not step up for your children is cruel and heartless.
I know how stress and financial issues can affect your life and make it appear as if you are not concerned about the children. I know how the codependent coparent relationship overwhelms your family. In this case, where children are not only being passed back and forth between the two parents, but now being torn between two school districts, I cannot stay silent.
How can it work for the child? How do they get graded if they are only turning in 50% of the school work at each school? To me, this results in an F. 50% plus 50% does not equal 100% in this case because these schools are not connected. Schools have different curriculums and school calendars. This is setting your children up for failure and it is wrong. If the other parent registered the kids for school first, you need to step back and realize that you should have been on the ball. Whatever motivated the other parent, they beat you to the task. Take responsibility for that and leave the child to attend school in the school district of the other parent.
School used to be a safe haven for children of divorce. It often becomes ground zero. Why judges proceed to allow this to happen is beyond me. I have witnesses, first hand, the judges and how lazy they can be, and now, I get to see that laziness thought others. You do not have too many decent judges to turn to. The family court system has become a place where the rich get served, but not the poor. It has also become a place where judges make their own laws and rules. They will not help you and they will never help your child. It is up to you to save your child!
If you are in a crazy situation like having the children in different school districts, consider giving me a call to see how we can correct the situation. This is not the education you should give your children. You can do better. Let’s talk about it.
One of my most popular posts has been a post I wrote about Our Family Wizard. I did not plan it that way, but that is far and above the most read post from my blog. When I was court ordered to use it, I thought that it was wrong that one company gets all the business around the country. When I divorced, that was the only program out there and I found much of it to be somewhat archaic. I haven’t been on Our Family Wizard for a while to view anything other than emails, so I do not know if there have been improvements, but the icons drove me nuts. They were very child like. I do not know about you, but my kids were not the ones using the program. My ex and I were. I wanted a more grown up program.
Well, technology is catching up to the coparenting world and I have been connected to another coparenting tool by way of Twitter. I wanted to pass it along as an alternative to Our Family Wizard. It is called Kids on Time. Check it out and let me know what you think of it.
- in accusations, anger, Attitude, balance, Child Custody, Children, Communication, confidence, Conflict, Coparenting, Coping, Court Authorities, Distrust, divorce, Divorce Nastiness, downward spiral, Family Court, judges, lies, motivation, negativity, New Coparent Coach Features, optimism, Parent Coordinator, Parenting Consultants, Parenting Time, personal growth, positive thinking, positivity, Regrets, Relationships, School, School Staff, self care, Single parenting
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*the following is a re-post from 8/25/11
Summer has sadly come to a close. That must mean that the first day of school has arrived. Most parents look forward to the routine of school and either a break from caring for the kids all day in the summer, or being free of the worry of summer daycare. For some parents, this time becomes very stressful. They may have had a summer of enjoyment with their children with minimal criticisms from the other parent, but the school year just brings new ammunition and new players (teachers, etc.) for court actions.
If you are one of those with an increasing anxiety level about the new school year, I may be able to help you. I understand how the crazy accusations fly in that setting and how players like teachers, principals and school counselors unwittingly become an extension of your ex’s wrath. Your ex may have told them that you suffer from mental illness, when it’s not true. The school professionals may have seen you at a bad moment when you lashed out at your ex. Not knowing how justified you may have been, they now consider you a nut. There may be court orders that are worded in ways that make it seem like you are a bad parent. It may be wreaking havoc on your confidence. You may feel awkward when you go into the school. So what can you do?
On your own, you can work on your confidence and self-esteem. You can use some positive self talk to put in your mind that you are a good parent and will start the school year off with a fresh start to try and put everything in the past. This can work, sometimes. If it doesn’t, if the thought of walking into your child’s school frightens you, or causes a great deal of anxiety and you try to avoid certain school activities because you can’t face the school professionals, or running into your ex, I could be a Parent Advocate on for you.
As a Parent Advocate, my goal is to make life at your child’s school the safe haven that it used to be, pre-divorce. I will help you improve the communication with school professionals and your child’s other parent. If possible, I will facilitate a meeting between you and the necessary school officials. If you’d like me to manage the flow of communication, I will do that. If you’d just like me to attend any meeting involving school matters to be a supportive person in the room, I can do that. If you have any issues with asserting your parental rights, I can make a phone call or send a letter or email on your behalf. I am not as effective as you are when it comes to reviving a relationship with the people involved in your child’s school life, but I can sometimes open a door to a new way of interacting.
As your advocate, I bring credibility back to you if it has been destroyed by your ex or a meddling Parenting Consultant. When someone is willing to stand in your corner, it helps break down any walls that have been built between people. If you’ve been made to look unreasonable or crazy, having the support you will help your image. Sometimes in a divorce battle, the court authorities seem somewhat biased. If you feel like it is an unfair fight, like it’s always the Parenting Consultant and your ex against you, and you feel outnumbered, I can balance the playing field. I can meet with you and your ex, if they are willing, to see how we can get the needs of both parents met so that school can once again become a safe haven and a divorce free zone.
What have you got to lose? It’s a free phone or email consult. Contact me and let’s start the school year off right!
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